It was 1962 and a movie called Gypsy came out. Anyhoo, us Catholics weren't supposed to go or we would go to
HELL! So we went…had to drive to Minneapolis. A composer by the name of David Rose wrote his biggest hit called “The Stripper”. Oh man, we loved that music (instrumental). We would start to pretend we were strippin’-drinkin’ and dancin’ around the fire. The top 40 stations all played it and then times changed.
Along came Vietnam and a whole bunch of other shit, But I never forgot that song and bought the album...
1974, I was in trouble. They wanted to lock my innocent ass up (check kiting?) [Ed. Note: did youmean semi-innocent?] So I got A JOB! First time I worked for someone else and also was supposed to quit drinking alcohol.
I'm a good welder. After testing, I was hired. I started that day, second shift, welding augers for a large farm machinery manufacturer. Turned out I was the best welder they had. My foreman used to send me next door so the slow welders could catch up. Anywhoo, it was a strip bar. So me and my assistant would weld up 8 augers before the first break then sit in the bar until it was time to go home.
Times were tough back in ’74- the country was going through a recession. So the Company was bought by some Bible Thumpers out of Missouri. They used to start a shift by all praying in a circle, which being a BORN AGAIN PAGAN, I refused to join in on. That was my first mistake. I should have shined those inbreds on. A few months later they threw the employees a Christmas party at a local night club. I hadn't intended on going and me and my partner were sittin’ in the bar, which was empty. In walks my foreman- a decent enough guy. “Hey come on! Let’s go to the party”, where he pulls out a roll of drink tickets and places them on the bar. Nursing a beer, one of the strippers walks in only to be told by the bartender that they wouldn't need her today as everyone was at the Christmas party. She came over and sat down on a stool. We soon had our heads together and after a brief discussion, we decided to give them a Christmas present.
The stripper went into the dressing room and changed into her costume. We all climbed into my truck and drove over to the nightclub. The shrimp and steak dinners were being passed out, and these old farts were looking cautiously at my stripper- the same one that they would stuff dollars in her G-String trying to kiss a titty. I told her to wait backstage and I WOULD GET THE MUSIC STARTED. As soon as everyone was served- all 250 people- I stopped by the band and passed out $100.00 in drink tickets (I had $500 worth!). “Play me David Rose’s 'The Stripper!' “
When I opened the curtain, there she stood in an evening gown. ”Merry Christmas everyone” she said. As the music started, off came her gown, and then she danced.
“Hi Louie, Hi Roger”…but no one heard her. It was assholes and elbows heading for the exits.
“Hypocrites!” I yelled.
We went back to the bar after cashing in $400 in drink tickets. Monday afternoon I went to work. Walking onto the Floor I caught a few snickers, but most wouldn't look at me. I went to check-in. My time card had a note and check in it saying I wasn't needed. A few months later I heard the plant closed for good and the Bible thumpers went back to Missouri.
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