Wake me when it's over!!
My current mate (of 28 years) will more than likely be the one who disposes of my remains when I die, that is, if Dolly Parton doesn't.
Anyhoo, the reason I got on this funeral thing again, is the other night we were required by Ojibwe family law to attend her cousin's wake. She made her much sought after pumpkin 'keep me fat” bars and after much whinin' and bellyachin’ which didn't work, I went!
I said I didn't want to go out because of the fresh snowfall. She knows that's a bullshit excuse- I'm from Minnesnowda!!! But that became the reason that I should drive. Since our only working vehicle is the quad cab Dakota p-up, rear wheel drive, no heater, only high beams, horn honks when you turn left, lights go out if you adjust steering wheel, and that new noise? Turn up the Radio! Since her KIA is now KIA!
I had made the last payment on it recently,but some loan company in Brazil is insisting I owe them additional$$$.$$ After being assured they understood English, I said then FUCK YUUUUUUUUW! Come and get it!!!
Anyhoo, with this shit goin on I hadn't felt like going to a Fun-eral or wake. He would be buried on, or should I say in, his “Rez” five hours to the north. Two ceremonies are held, as a lot of “Urbane” people cannot travel to the North. Arriving late, the community room was filled, so I said 'lets go', but it was not to be. Leaving me in my wheelchair in the hallway, after getting me a cup of coffee, she and only daughter (who I call my best Son) entered the community room where the dearly departed lay in a cedar casket that I thought was so beautiful, it was a shame to put in the ground.
I could hear my sisters-in-law and their adult daughters performing the “Midiiwin” ceremony, which they are very good at. When they were nearly finished, family and friends were asked if they wanted to say anything about the 'dearly departed'. The room started to empty. By this time I had made my way to the entrance, where I was respectfully helped to a table.
Did I mention food? At every wake or funeral ceremony, food is brought by the best cooks in the community. Frybread, wild rice, venison, blueberries, and besides the traditional foods, more dishes. Brownies, cake. It's the one “Saving Grace” should I say.
As we were eating, this ol' man's ex got up and talked about him. Mournful it didn't seem to me. His kids were next. Issues and even secrets were told by a friend, who I later told, I'm glad I didn't drink with you!
As we were driving home, I said that's why I don't want a ceremony, just “BURN ME BABY BURN ME!!! FFO RAT
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